Missionary sex position might be one of the most common—not to mention best sex positions—in our repertoire, but it's also among the most versatile. With some tweaks and unexpected enhancements, missionary sex position variations can also be the best sex positions for women.
“Most vulva-owners need clitoral stimulation, not just penetration, to orgasm,” says Holly Richmond, Ph.D., certified sex therapist. "During standard missionary sex, there's an undeniable lack of clitoral stimulation unless using sex toys, the male grinds against the clitoris instead of thrusts, or he uses his fingers."
We're in favor of sex positions that close the orgasm gap—the disparity between men and women and the frequency and consistency of their orgasms. In 2022, 95 percent of men reported almost always climaxing during sex, compared to just 25 percent of women, per Statista.
There are plenty of ways to switch things up to ensure missionary sex positions are pleasurable for both partners. And we're here to show you how. Here are 15 variations on the traditional position and 15 tips to really heat things up.
What Is Missionary Sex Position?
Missionary position involves the penetrative partner being on top while the receiving partner lies on their back underneath. It's traditionally a penile-vaginal sex position, where the partners face each other, but you can shake things up with small and large changes.
15 Missionary Sex Position Variations
1. Missionary With Cock Ring
Katie Buckleitner
“Missionary sex position has a rap for being boring, but it’s one of the most intimate positions,” says Searah Deysach, sex educator and owner of Early to Bed sex shop. Because you're facing one another, there's direct eye- and full-body contact, plus the opportunity for dirty talking and kissing.
How to Do ItThe receiving partner lies on their back while the penetrative partner lies on top of them. This lends itself to thrusting with relative ease that's intensified by the addition of a cock ring.
Pro TipPenis-owners will benefit from a basic cock ring, but to boost the pleasure of penile-vaginal sex, opt for a dual-motor cock ring like Hot Octopuss Atom Plus. One motor vibes against the perineum, while the other stimulates the clitoris. You'll never find missionary boring with this buzzy addition.
2. Missionary With Wedge
Katie Buckleitner
Missionary With Wedge is a great tweak to the original for anyone looking to get just the right angle. Moreover, sex pillows and wedges are especially helpful for plus-size partners. The person on top can support their weight with their arms and both partners get the added benefit of intimacy, says Deysach. Pillows and wedges are a great way to lift the hips of the receiving partner to create closer contact and better alignment.
How to Do ItThe receiving partner lies on their back with a sex pillow or wedge placed underneath their hips. The penetrative partner lies on top and enters.
Pro TipGet an inflatable pillow like NaEnsen Sex Toys Pillow Position Cushion Triangle Inflatable Ramp if you don't want a sizeable wedge or ramp in your bedroom.
3. Folded Missionary
Katie Buckleitner
Folded Missionary is a great riff on the classic, but also one of the top sex positions for deep penetration. The penetrative partner can experiment with depth and edging, allowing both partners to relish the feeling of the head of the penis or strap-on penetrating the vulva-owner's lips, says Mike Johnson, co-host of "Your Mileage May Vary" sex and relationship podcast.
How to Do ItThe receiving partner lies on their back and raises their legs off the bed so the penetrative partner can position themself on top, planting their hands on either side of the vulva-owner's torso. The receiving partner can lift their hips up and rest their legs against their partner's upper body and shoulders. The penetrative partner's arms and shoulders hold the vulva-owner's legs in place to limit shifting with each thrust, says Johnson.
4. Reverse Missionary
Katie Buckleitner
A twist on the classic, Reverse Missionary places the vulva-owner on top to better target the G-spot and clitoris. This is a great sex position for deep penetration, but it also gives enough space to incorporate sex toys.
How to Do ItThe penetrating partner lies on their back while the receiving partner lies on top. Both partners can grind their bodies together in a circular motion or up and down for plenty of friction.
Pro Tip“Spice up this position by adding a cock ring, such as Satisfyer Sniper Vibrating Cock Ring, which can enhance pleasure for both partners,” White says.
5. Eagle Position
Katie Buckleitner
If the penetrative partner finds sex to be more pleasurable lying on their back, this position is great, says White. It's one of the best sex positions for a small penis, too, because it maximizes penetration with the added bonus of clitoral stimulation.
How to Do ItThe receiving partner lies on their back “spread eagle,” with legs in the air about hip-width apart. The penetrating partner kneels before them and inserts their penis or strap-on, then plants their hands on the bed for support.
Pro TipTo close the pleasure gap, add a dual-motor vibrator like We-Vibe SE. When inserted, it hits the G-spot internally and the clitoris externally, resulting in a stronger orgasm.
6. Legs-Up Anal
Katie Buckleitner
Anal sex positions might not seem like obvious riffs on missionary, but Legs-Up Anal gives back door access while maintaining the intimacy of missionary by being able to look each other in the eye, says Deysach. Communicate directly with one another about speed and depth of penetration.
How to Do ItThe receiving partner lies down with their legs up in the air so the penetrative partner can kneel and place their hands on either side of them. The receiving partner can lift their hips and rest their calves against the penetrative partner's shoulders, which allows for deeper penetration as well as greater support. Bonus: The receiving partner won't get fatigued having to hold their legs up on their own.
Pro TipTry a hybrid lube like Lube Life Hybrid Lubricant, which features a water and silicone base for comfort and longevity. It won't dry out as quickly as other lubes and helps prevent tearing.
7. Edge of the Bed
Katie Buckleitner
Edge of the Bed is a common favorite for both parties, as it encourages deep penetration. This position can be a bit painful for vulva-owners if their partner is well-endowed since the penis can knock against the cervix during penetration. Take it slow and communicate what speed and depth feels best.
How to Do ItThis missionary sex position variation offers plenty of incredible visuals. With Edge of the Bed, the receiver lies on their back with hips at—you guessed it—the edge of the bed. The penetrative partner enters from under their legs, which can rest up against the giver's torso or chest, both of which allow the receiver to control what angle feels best.
Pro TipThis is a great time to get a vibrating toy involved to get more stimulation for both partners. Try Screaming O Charged Ohare Vooom Mini Vibe. The silicone rabbit vibrator is also a double cock ring that wraps around the penis and balls. It's powered by a detachable bullet vibe with 10 different patterns that shimmy the "ears" against the vulva-owner's clitoris with each thrust.
8. Open Book
Katie Buckleitner
A riff on the missionary sex position, Open Book “is great for couples who get turned on by visuals and for those looking to incorporate devices into their sex life,” White says. This checks all the boxes as far as fun sex positions go. “Both partners usually find this really sexy, both physically and visually,” adds Richmond.
How to Do ItThe receiving partner lies on their back with legs open wide like a "V", while the penetrating partner kneels between their legs and holds their ankles for stability as they insert their penis or strap-on. Word to the wise: Stretch and focus on opening your hips to maximize mobility and flexibility for this position before you get started.
Pro TipTake advantage of how exposed the clitoris is. The vulva-owner can use their hands or a vibrating wand such as Lelo Smart Wand 2 to stimulate their clit or other erogenous zones.
9. Coital Alignment Technique (C.A.T.)
Katie Buckleitner
The Coital Alignment Technique or CAT is a modification of missionary sex position that puts the penis down instead of up in the vagina to better stimulate the clitoris.
“A lot of my clients really love the coital alignment technique," says Dr. Shannon Chavez, licensed psychologist and sex therapist in Beverly Hills, CA. "The main function is to create a bit of elevation right under the hips and butt.”
By placing a pillow or a wedge under the vulva-owner's glutes, their pelvis is tilted up, so the base of the giver's penis and mons pubis, the fatty tissue over the pubic bone, “will rub the clitoris, external vulva, and all of the tissue in the surrounding area, which will help increase orgasm potential," Chavez adds. "The mons pubis on all genders has a lot of nerve endings, and grinding in that position stimulates them all.”
How to Do ItThe receiver lies on their back and the penetrative partner enters on top. Unlike missionary, the penetrative partner shifts their body up a couple inches so the base of the penis or strap-on rubs against the clitoris. There are a couple modifications here: The vulva-owner can keep their legs together, while the giver's are apart. Or, they can wrap their ankles around the giver's calves and flex their legs to draw in closer. Instead of thrusting in and out—the giver will only be able to penetrate about an inch or so inside the vagina—think about rocking in a circular motion akin to dry humping.
Pro TipWhile this does offer deeper penetration, says Chavez, the CAT technique is really about creating more friction. “So don’t focus as much on thrusting and penetration, as much as on grinding, rubbing, and using your hips.” Note: You can also place a pillow underneath the vulva-owner's butt. Try the Liberator Wedge Intimate Sex Positioning Pillow.
10. Pirate's Bounty
Katie Buckleitner
Pirate's Bounty is for couples looking for a missionary sex position variation that's outside the norm. It allows for both deep insertion and total clitoral stimulation.
How to Do ItThe vulva-owner lies on their back and the penetrative partner kneels before them. The receiver places one leg against the torso of the giver and the other leg, bent at the knee, alongside the giver's thigh. The giver can use their penis or a strap-on to thrust in and out or in a circular motion, holding the bottom partner's lower leg for support.
Pro TipAdd some cushioning under the vulva-owner's butt. You don't need anything fancy. Use a pillow, folded blanket, or a Portable Sex Pillow Inflatable Cushion to get the angle just right.
11. Seashell
Katie Buckleitner
This take on missionary sex allows for deep penetration and a playful tease between partners, Neal says.
How to Do ItThe vulva-owner lies on their back and bends both knees while the penetrative partner kneels in front and enters, resting the front of their shoulders against the receiving partner's calves. The receiving partner can also cross their legs against the giver's chest, allowing them to come even closer.
Pro TipThe penetrative partner should take advantage of leaning against their partner's lower legs. This closeness encourages direct eye contact and dirty talk, while decreasing pressure on wrists and extending stamina, says Caitlin V. Neal, sex and relationship coach and host of Good Sex on Discovery+.
12. Standing Missionary
Katie Buckleitner
Standing Missionary isn't revolutionary, but shower sex positions don't have to be for the sake of your orgasm (and safety). This is a great position because, when you’re soaped up and taking advantage of lube, your bodies will slide against each other, creating friction for a full-body orgasm.
How to Do ItBoth partners face each other so when the penis or strap-on enters, it pulls both bodies together, which provides more stability and sensuality. The penetrative partner can rest a foot on the shower seat or edge of the bath tub (if you're not in a walk-in shower) for better leverage.
Pro TipIf the vulva-owner is struggling to get clitoral stimulation, bring a waterproof cock ring into the mix like Romp Juke.
13. Sunday Afternoon
Katie Buckleitner
While there's a bit of a learning curve to get into Sunday Afternoon, once you're in it, it's smooth sailing. The ease of this missionary sex position variation inspires its pleasant name, and it's another great choice for full access to the clitoris.
How to Do ItThe penetrative partner lies on their left side, leaning on left arm, with legs positioned like an open clamshell: Left leg bent against the bed and right leg bent at the knee with foot planted in front of the other ankle. The vulva-owner lies perpendicular to their partner and threads the needle, so to speak, by placing right leg through the giver's legs and aligning their pelvises. Their other leg can rest against the penis-owner's chest and shoulder to be used as leverage upon penetration to get closer and aid in thrusting or gyrating.
Pro TipThe vulva-owner can reach a free hand down for further clitoral stimulation.
14. Bridge
Katie Buckleitner
Different sex positions typically demand a bit more physicality. Bridge requires some stamina and strength, White prefaces, but allows for a great view of the bottom partner. If you don't like how missionary can feel static, try this.
How to Do ItThe vulva-owner lies on their back and bridges their hips up. The penetrating partner kneels between the receiving partner's legs and uses their hands to support their partner’s weight by gripping their hips or outer glutes while thrusting in and out, explains White.
Pro Tip“To make this position slightly easier on the receiving partner, you may pile pillows underneath their back for support,” White says. We suggest getting a versatile sex pillow like Liberator Wedge & Sex Ramp.
15. Mermaid
Katie Buckleitner
Mermaid offers an opportunity for deep penetration and visual appeal. Because the vulva-owner's legs are pressed together, it creates a tighter fit, heightening the sensation if the partner's penis is a bit smaller.
How to Do ItThe receiving partner lies on their back at the edge of the bed—or dining room table for a sense of spontaneity—with their legs straight in the air, legs pressed together as if mimicking the tail of a mermaid. The penetrating partner will then stand behind their legs to enter. If the receiving partner gets fatigued holding their legs together, their partner can assist with their hands.
Pro Tip“To level this position up and change the angle of penetration, place a pillow under the receiving partner,” White says. Try the Dame Pillow. The wedge is more discreet in size and fits easily under the hips. We love that the foam is dense, so you feel supported and lifted—not like you're sinking.
15 Tips to Make Missionary Sex Hotter
1. Make Eye Contact
“It’s amazing how often I speak with couples who don’t make eye contact during sex, especially missionary,” says Richmond, who says this is her favorite way to intensify the position. She calls it “eye-gazing.” By simply looking into your partner’s eyes, you can increase the emotional and physical connection.
- Try it with all 15 missionary sex position variations above
2. Wrap the Receiver's Legs Around the Giver
Have the receiver wrap their legs around the penetrative partner so they can pull in closer for deeper penetration, suggests Sarah Riccio, sex expert at Delicto.com. It's a simple way to get greater friction and intimacy.
- Try it with Missionary With Cock Ring
3. Put the Receiver's Legs Over the Giver's Shoulders
The receiving partner can prop their legs up on the giver’s shoulders for extra G-spot stimulation and deeper penetration.
- Try it with Folded Missionary, Legs-Up Anal, Sunday Afternoon, Edge of the Bed, Seashell, and Mermaid
4. Tuck the Receiver's Knees Into Their Chest
When the receiver brings their knees into their chest, it changes the angle for deeper penetration.
- Try it with Pirate's Bounty
5. Kneel Instead of Lying Down
Instead of the penetrative partner leaning or lying over the receiving partner, they can stay kneeling in an upright position. This provides better sight lines to gaze over their partner's body as well as control to move their legs in various ways, advises Richmond.
- Try it with Eagle Position, Open Book, Pirate's Bounty, and Bridge
6. Stand
Missionary against a wall or in the shower ticks the box of fantasy play and switches up the sensation of traditional missionary. Just make sure your and your partner are supported.
- Try it with Edge of the Bed, Mermaid, and Standing Missionary
7. Incorporate a Pillow
Another way to quickly alter the receiver’s position (while still having them lyying flat on their back) is to place a pillow or sex wedge under their hips. This changes the angle of penetration and will increase G-spot stimulation, says Melissa Cook, AASECT-certified sex therapist.
- Try it with Missionary With a Wedge
Illustration by Katie Buckleitner
8. Try a Vibrating Wand
Vibrating bullets and wands are easy to hold, and thus Riccio’s preferred sex toy for missionary position. She suggests a vibrating wand with a longer handle like the Magic Wand so the extended handle gives you more reach. “The receiver can lie back and hold it, or pass it to their partner to hold,” says Riccio.
- Try it with traditional Missionary, Edge of the Bed, and Eagle Position
9. Use a Wearable, Hands-Free Toy for Vulva-Owners
Though toys can be fun, sometimes they can prove a nuisance to maneuver, especially in a position where the bodies are so firmly pressed together. For this reason, Richmond suggests a wearable, hands-free device like Dame Products Eva. “It fits snuggly on the vulva so she can enjoy penetration and clitoral stimulation at the same time.”
- Try it with all 15 missionary sex position variations above
10. Use a Wearable, Hands-Free Toy for Penis-Owners
Vibrating cock rings enhance not only the male orgasm, but also the female experience since there's penetration from the penis plus vibrations from the toy against the clitoris.
- Try it with all 15 missionary sex position variations above
11. Incorporate Sensory Play
Try using a blindfold and have the dominating partner surprise with kisses, dirty talk, clitoral stimulation, and nipple play, suggests Natassia Miller, founder and CEO of Wonderlust.
- Try it with Missionary With Cock Ring and Missionary With Wedge
12. Change Your Scenery
“Switch things up by doing it elsewhere, such as on the couch, kitchen counter, or chair,” says Miller. It can change your mindset and keep sex from feeling routine.
- Try it with all 15 missionary sex position variations above
13. Stimulate the Nipples
“Play with each other’s nipples, finding what you each prefer by gently sucking, biting, or tickling on them,” says Miller.
- Try it with Reverse Missionary, Edge of the Bed, Pirate's Bounty, Standing Missionary, Sunday Afternoon, and Mermaid
14. Incorporate Anal Play
Have one or both partners wear a butt plug during missionary position, suggests Miller. If you're new to anal play, opt for Bellesa Anal Training Kit. You can also simply lube up a finger.
- Try it with all missionary sex position variations except Legs-Up Anal
15. Slow Down
When you take your time, sensations are intensified and it gives you more time to work over other areas of the body.
- Try it with all 15 missionary sex position variations above
Meet the Experts
- Holly Richmond, Ph.D., certified sex therapist
- Searah Deysach, sex educator and owner of Early to Bed sex shop
- Mike Johnson, co-host of "Your Mileage May Vary" sex and relationship podcast
- Megwyn White, certified sexologist and director of education at Satisfyer
- Dr. Shannon Chavez, licensed psychologist and sex therapist in Beverly Hills, CA
- Caitlin V. Neal, sex and relationship coach and host of Good Sex on Discovery+
- Sarah Riccio, sex expert at Delicto.com
- Natassia Miller, founder and CEO of Wonderlust
from Men's Journal https://ift.tt/RP0GQl5
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