The 69 sex position has been the subject of lore for what feels like centuries. It's hardly a new sex position. Two partners give and receive oral sex simultaneously, while positioned head-to-toe, resembling the number 69.
In pop culture, it usually happens between a vulva- and penis-owner, but 69 doesn't discriminate based on body parts or sexuality. Absolutely anyone with any body can partner up.
Admittedly, 69 sex position gets mixed reviews. Giving and receiving oral sex at the same time isn’t the easiest thing in the world and not everyone loves it. And that's OK; not every sex position works for everyone. But 69 can still be fun and pleasurable, if both partners are up for the adventure of trying something new (like Amazon sex position).
The key to perfecting 69 sex position is finding a style that works for everyone involved so both partners find it physically comfortable, pleasurable, and exciting. Thankfully, there are plenty of variations, modifications, and add-ons to enhance the experience, from utilizing sex swings to cock rings to sex toys for men and sex toys for women.
Here are 10 variations on 69 sex position you should try. First, let's start with the OG.
What Is 69 Sex Position?
Illustrations by Katie Buckleitner
Why It's Great
Since both partners are lined up head-to-toe, the bottom partner is able to give the top partner oral while simultaneously receiving.
How to Do It
- Typically, the taller, larger of the two partners lies down on their back.
- The top partner lies on top of the other, positioned head-to-toe, with their mouth lined up with their partner's genitals. They should bend their knees and brace their weight.
Standing 69
Illustrations by Katie Buckleitner
Why It's Great
This 69 sex position is all about novelty and theatrics.
How to Do It
- In this deeply athletic position, the standing partner holds their partner upside-down, with the inverted partner’s hips directly in front of their face.
- Both partners wrap their arms around each other's torsos for support.
- The inverted partner can rest their knees on the standing partner's shoulders for balance and support.
Pro Tip
Only do this position if the standing partner is strong enough to hold the inverted partner safely. This is a difficult 69 sex position to pull off, so consider standing against a wall to support the standing partner and place pillows on the ground for a soft, safe dismount.
Sideways 69
Illustrations by Katie Buckleitner
Why It's Great
This position is a more comfortable choice for anyone who doesn’t love the face-sitting aspect of the classic. It’s the ultimate lazy version of 69: You get all the thrill, without all the effort.
How to Do It
- Both partners lie on their sides, positioned head to feet, with their mouths aligned with each other's genitals.
- Open your top legs like clamshells to give better access to the penis and/or clitoris.
Pro Tip
Grabbing a pillow for both partner’s heads can be a huge game-changer for comfort. Additionally, both partners can gently rock their hips back and forth to get some extra stimulation.
Sex Swing 69
Illustrations by Katie Buckleitner
Why It's Great
If you’re the adventurous type, this one’s for you.
How to Do It
- One partner lies on their back on the sex swing, with their head between the standing partner’s legs.
- The standing partner bends forward at the waist to access their partner’s penis or vulva on the swing.
Pro Tip
Be sure you have high-quality gear for this move. You want a swing with a seat conducive to one partner lying flat. Adam and Eve Fetish Fantasy Spinning Swing and the brand's Extreme Swing are solid choices. If you want even more options, check out the best sex swings.
Mouth-Free 69 With Toys
Illustrations by Katie Buckleitner
Why It's Great
Clit vibrators and penis strokers are excellent sex toys to use during foreplay or the main event. You can always play with toys, then go to town on each other after with oral or penetrative sex.
How to Do It
- Assume a sideways 69 position setup.
- Use your partner's favorite sex toy on them.
- If it vibrates, start on the lowest settings first, then ramp things up. You can also play with edging.
Pro Tip
Choosing the right gear is crucial to maximize this position. We love We-Vibe Tango and Maude Vibe Personal Massager, as they offer pinpoint clitoral stimulation. You can also try a clit-sucking vibrator like Lelo Sona 2. It's amazing in this 69 sex position because the toy does all the work for you. For penis strokers, Lovehoney Head Master Vibrating Blow Job Stroker is unbeatable.
69 Sex Position With Pillow or Wedge
Illustrations by Katie Buckleitner
Why It's Great
Having the taller person’s hips lifted can slide everything into place, without any neck-straining.
How to Do It
- If your body parts aren’t quite lining up, use a positioning pillow to get mouths and groins where they need to be.
- The taller partner lies on their back with a pillow or wedge under their hips, while the shorter partner straddles their face like traditional 69.
Pro Tip
A designated sex pillow can really change the game for this position. Liberator Wedge and Dame Pillo Wedge are specially designed to give your hips the lift you need.
69 Sex Position With Toys
Illustrations by Katie Buckleitner
Why It's Great
Up the stimulation using toys and 69 gets way more enjoyable. This may sound more complicated than it is in practice. It really boils down to enhancing stimulation for more pleasure. Vibration and mouth action go a long way. Don’t be afraid to experiment.
How to Do It
- Both partner's assume traditional 69 sex position.
- The penis-owner can use a vibrator against the vulva-owner's clitoris. Or, they can use a G-spot wand, if internal stimulation is preferred.
- The vulva-owner can use their mouth in tandem with a masturbation sleeve on the penis-owner.
Pro Tip
Since this is all about experimenting, you want a variety of toys with reasonable budgets. For clitoral toys, try Skyn Caress, Bami Mini Vibe, or B Swish Classic Curve. For G-spot wands, try PlusOne Dual Massager, PlusOne Personal Massager, or Unbound Stellar Glass Dildo. For masturbation sleeves, spring for Fleshlight Quickshot Vantage, Archwave Ghost Male Stroker, or one-time-use Tenga Eggs. All toys are under $50.
More 69 Sex Positions We Love
Seated 69
Illustrations by Katie Buckleitner
- One partner sits down on an armchair or couch, back firmly pressed against the back.
- The other partner is inverted, using the sitting partner's shoulders and the back headrest of the couch or chair to support their weight.
Be sure the chair you’re using has a solid back to support your weight. Otherwise, this position can require too much core strength to be enjoyable. Like standing 69, this position is ideal for inverted partners who are smaller in size, as it can be hard to hold their entire weight while going to town on their body.
The Freestander
Illustrations by Katie Buckleitner
This is a fun position to experiment with power play and deep throating. Try putting a blindfold on the partner lying down; just be sure to lay ground rules so everything is consensual and comfortable.
How to Do It- One partner lies face-up on a bed with their head by the end.
- The other partner stands before them. If the bed isn't tall enough to properly align the mouth and genitals, the standing partner can bend their knees and place their hands on the bed for support.
- The standing partner can rock their hips or the lying down partner can grip the standing partner’s glutes to control the movement.
Place a pillow under the lying partner’s head. This can help with head positioning without straining their neck.
Squatting 69
Illustrations by Katie Buckleitner
- Rather than lying in the regular 69 position, the bottom partner sits upright on any flat surface, hands behind them or to the side for support.
- The top partner squats over the bottom partner, placing their hands on the floor, feet wide on either side of their partner's hips. Depending on personal anatomy, the top partner can keep legs bent or straighten them out so heads are aligned with genitals.
Keep in mind this position requires strength and flexibility, especially for the top partner's low back and legs. Bending at the knees can make sustaining this position for a longer period easier. Incorporate toys like a G-spot wand, like the stainless-steel Njoy Pure Wand.
Lazy Girl 69
Illustrations by Katie Buckleitner Laxy
Sometimes you need a lazy sex position that satisfies your needs without feeling strenuous.
How to Do It- The bottom partner lies down on their back, knees bent.
- The vulva-owner lies face-up on top of their partner, with their butt on their chest, legs splayed to allow access to the clitoris.
Place a pillow under the bottom partner's head to ease any neck strain.
12 Ways to Enhance 69 Sex Position
1. Relax
Make sure both of you are comfortable in the position before beginning. Keep things light and fun. Don't put the emphasis on climaxing; instead, relish in the intimacy and how it can enhance pleasure whether as foreplay or the main event.
2. Incorporate Foreplay
Foreplay helps to relax both partners but also, due to the intricacies of 69, you become limited in pleasing other parts of the body once you’re in position. So, start by nibbling ears, licking nipples, sensually rubbing, and even teasing with a vibrator to heighten the pleasure for when you ultimately move to 69.
Related: How to Use Anal Beads Alone or With a Partner
3. Be Patient
“Getting the hang of this position might take some time,” says Melissa Cook, AASECT-certified sex therapist about the coordination 69 takes. Be respectful of the adjustments your partner needs to make it the most comfortable experience.
4. Know Your Angles
Since body types and heights vary, it’s easy for bodies to be misaligned. Make the necessary adjustments to ensure your neck isn’t strained, which can result in an uncomfortable experience all around.
Supporting props like pillows can make 69 sex position more comfortable, says Cook. Add one under the bottom partner’s hips or position them under the top partner’s arms.
5. Change Your Positioning
“In general, most women prefer to receive oral sex while lying down, but with 69 the typical position is for the vulva-owner to be lying on top of the man,” says Johnson. Switch things up and lie on top of her, albeit slightly off to the side so your full weight isn’t on her. Or, lie side-by-side to switch up the position and make it immediately more comfortable, says Cook.
Related: The Best Prostate Massagers Can Improve Your Sex Life. These Are the Best to Try
6. Alternate Who Receives
Since vulva-owners find it difficult to concentrate on their orgasm while performing oral sex. Johnson suggests starting with a focus on the vulva-owner, so they don't feel pressure to pleasure the penis-owner simultaneously.
7. Get Your Hands Involved
Yes, this position widely focuses on cunnilingus, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use your hands for added pleasure. Vulva-owners can tug on their partner's testicles or rub the shaft of their penis; penis-owners can finger their partner; and both can enjoy anal and nipple play.
8. Use a Cock Ring
A cock ring constricts the blood vessels to the penis for a fuller, longer erection and more intense orgasm. Wear one during 69 for multi-levels of stimulation and to take some pressure off your partner.
9. Use a Vibrator
Since some vulva-owners find it difficult to orgasm solely from oral sex, using a bullet vibrator or wand in tandem with oral stimulation makes the experience more enjoyable, says Cook.
Related: The Best Nipple Clamps of 2024 for Maximum Pleasure
10. Use an Anal Plug or Beads
The 69 sex position keeps pleasure focused on the vulva and penis, but using an anal plug helps to make it a more full-body orgasm.
If plugs aren’t your thing, try anal beads which are softer and come in various sizes and materials for stimulating the prostate.
11. Lube Up
While there is a lot of saliva exchanged in this position, adding lube to the scenario can make it more fun and casual – especially if you lather up the whole body so when you slide against each other it’s an added level of sensation, almost like an erotic body massage.
12. Try a New Location
Cook also suggests changing up the location. Sure, the bedroom is the most comfortable, but it's also the most routine. Do it on the couch, in the guest bedroom, on the stairs, or the kitchen floor...
Related: 15 Missionary Sex Positions That Are Anything but Boring
Why You Should Trust Me
I have been in the sexuality space as an educator, writer, and therapist for over a decade. When it comes to the topic of sexual health and wellness, there’s not much I haven’t written about and researched.
I’m a COSRT-registered, certified sex and relationship psychotherapist, specializing in Gender Sexuality and Relationship Diversity (GSRD). I’m also an accredited GSRD therapist with Pink Therapy. I currently work for The Therapy Yard, a psychosexual and relationships clinic in London, England.
On top of my clinic work, I’m also an author. My first book, All The F*cking Mistakes, is all about embracing your sexy self and living your very best life.
My work regularly appears in many publications including Cosmo, Glamour, Men's Health, and Refinery29.
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