There's absolutely nothing wrong or unhealthy with looking at online pornography and practicing, shall we say, self care now and then. Everyone blows off steam in different ways, after all. But of course, as with many things in life, moderation is key, and when a casual porn habit turns into a full-blown addiction, it may or may not impact romantic relationships and intimacy.
Watching too much porn can cause men to be unable to orgasm, finish too soon, fail to maintain an erection, or even lead to issues connecting on an emotional level with their partner.
To get to the bottom of how porn can affect you in the bedroom, a recent Reddit thread in r/AskMen inquires: Men with porn addictions, how does this affect your relationship with your girlfriend or wife? Not surprisingly, plenty of men were all too happy to chime in. But for those who are struggling or have struggled with porn addiction, many reported that their sex lives improved when they quit or cut back.
"I was in a men’s group for sex addiction for six years."
"Nearly killed our relationship," one user wrote, adding that it led him to seek out worse things like massages. "Basically I was at a cross roads. We both did therapy. I was in a men’s group for sex addiction for six years. Been sober from porn since 2016."
"Girls don't seem to really understand that there is nothing they can do."
Another user said that, on a sexual level, he found it hard to finish during sex and it is sometimes difficult to stay hard.
"On a communication level, girls don't seem to really understand that there is nothing they can do," he explained. "They will ask me what they should do to turn me on more, [but] it's just not about that. Depending on their background or opinion on porn, they just won't be bothered by the idea of you masturbaing or watching porn when the bad habit kicks in again." He added that when he does have the occasional bad habit relapse, he wishes his partner would encourage him not to entertain a bad habit. "But not all girls understand how damaging porn can be. Some think it's fun, or liberating."
"Real women have stretch marks."
Another chimed in that porn "definitely negatively affects" relationships. "Real women have stretch marks, body odors, tastes, sweat and imperfections," he explained. "Performance anxiety is a real thing, real sex is nothing like in porn. One thing I have noticed is that I am able to read her body cues better."
"It took a lot of the pleasure out of sex."
One user said that while he's since kicked the habit, he experienced a porn addiction in college that negatively impacted sex with his then-girlfriend.
"It like took a lot of the pleasure out of sex with her after a handful of times, and I'd have to think about other stuff to get off fully after awhile, despite there being a hot girl who is exactly my type having sex with me," he recalled. "It also sort of ruined the bond we had, because sex should be about love in a relationship and the porn made me super cut off emotionally somehow. I took her for granted and didn't understand what sex really was, not just grabbing butt like a porn shoot. It ended up ruining the relationship and other relationships I had with partners."
"I have more energy, less anxiety, and feel more happy."
One user didn't elaborate on how porn affected his relationships, but that quitting essentially gave him a new lease on life. "I still jerk off once a day mostly, but not watching porn makes my life so much better," he wrote. "I have more energy, less anxiety, and feel more happy."
A few women likewise weighed in, as one admitted to having a boyfriend who struggles, and that it screws with her head more than it should.
"Plus, he lasts forever."
Another woman gave a counter-viewpoint, as she explained that her husband had never been into watching porn but that she had watched since she was a teen.
"Interestingly enough, his physical and emotional awareness has easily made him the best lover I've ever had," she gushed. "As others have mentioned after quitting porn, he is so in tune with my mental state and body cues. He takes his time, does not follow a 'script,' and relishes the 'natural' element of sex and intimacy. Over time, I saw myself start to do the same. Our connection has surpassed a physical one and sex is always good because of it."
"Plus, he lasts forever," she emphatically added. "Consequentially, I've become less and less motivated to watch porn. It seems empty and almost boring after experiencing mindful sex."
Well, if that's not enough to inspire the most porn-addicted soul to want to kick the habit, then we don't know what is. For those who are really struggling, however, there are plenty of licensed therapy professionals out there who specialize in sex and relationships and can help guide you back on track.
from Men's Journal https://ift.tt/26p5fZC
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